


Promises and forgiveness

by Justartthings



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24003193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justartthings/pseuds/Justartthings
Summary: A follow up to the last scene on 3x14. Maya decides to open up to Carina and let's herself be loved.
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Kudos: 93





	Promises and forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever and English is not even my first language lol, so sorry if there are mistakes. I'm such a softie for these two. It's pretty short but, I hope you enjoy!

  * Hi – _Carina said as she walked into Maya’s office. It had been a week since she had left that same office with a broken heart. She walked in carefully, almost like she was afraid that any sudden movement would make Maya regret inviting her over._



  * Hi – _Maya didn’t even bother looking at Carina. She was sitting in her chair, staring at her shaky hands. She didn’t want to stare at her eyes. Those deep brown eyes that had manage to stick into her soul and ripe it open, letting all her feelings free when she looked at them. And Carina knew it. Of course she knew the power her gazed had over Maya._



_She walked over Maya’s side, just like she did the last time. When she kneeled down, she allowed herself to observe her, wondering for how long the blond girl had been crying for. Even if she couldn’t see her eyes, she knew they were red from crying, her lower lip was trembling, and she was making a big effort trying to breath at a normal pace._

  * You wanted to see me? – _She placed her hand on Mayas knee, trying not to invade too much her personal space._



_Maya swallowed hard before speaking. Her mind was racing, and her thoughts were going a thousand miles per hour, but she needed to say what she had been thinking since the moment she had yelled at her girlfriend._

  * Yeah… I - I needed to tell you something. But I need you to promise me you won’t speak until I’m finished. I’m not sure I could say what I need to say If I see you crying or hear your voice breaking.



_Carina nodded slowly, before grabbing the chair near the desk. Her legs felt like jelly at the thought of Maya breaking up with her._

  * Alright, I promise. – _She tried her best not to show she was almost crying. She needed Maya to speak and verbalize her feelings. Maya continued playing with her hands as she began to talk._


  * I’ve been thinking about what you and my mom said, and I’ve realised that all this time all I was looking for was validation – _she smiled bitterly_ \- because my dad made me so insecure of myself that I always need reassurance to know I am going in the right direction. I try to show everyone how tough I am, because sometimes, I feel that my emotions are not valid. And actually, I used to prefer living like that , fast, so I didn’t have time to think, cause If I did…Well, I think you know what happens. – _The lump in her throat was beginning to make harder a simple task like breathing_ \- All I ever wanted was to be accepted as I was. To be able to cry when I felt down and to have someone who could hold me and help me put the pieces back together. – C _arina wanted so badly to be that person to Maya. She wanted to give her all the love she had been missing and break the armour she had built around her soul because of her dad. Even if she wasn’t a big fan of fixing broken people, all she wanted to do when she saw Maya was to be the person who helped her heal her wounds._
  * You know, sometimes I think about dying, - _Maya’s tears were now running freely and Carina’s heart was about to break again. The girl she loved the most was opening her heart and letting her feel her pain._ – I think about what It would feel to not feel anything. Not feel my heart aching all the time, like it’s breaking into a million pieces. - _That’s when she turned her head and stared at Carinas eyes for the first time since she had entered the room_ – Then, one night, you came into my life. That breath-taking girl from the bar that managed to make the pain bearable, that knows me better than anyone else and believes in me, even when I don’t. – _The magic that was always present whenever they were together was beginning to build up_ \- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. - _Damn it, those loving eyes again. The same eyes that Carina gave her when she found out what her dad used to do. It felt as if Carina wanted to take Maya’s pain as her own so she could stop hurting._



_Maya turned her head again, looking at the door this time._ \- When I was 14, I started to cry myself to sleep. That was the only thing that helped me rest and made me forget the thought that was flying like a captive bird inside my mind: “Will anyone ever be able to love me?” – _Carina almost let out a choked sob. If only the girl knew she was the first owner of her heart. Carina had a tricky childhood and didn’t really learn what a healthy relationship was. So, after college, she started to have one-night stands and always made sure she avoided the possibility of someone breaking her heart. This time, Carina’s heart could not resist the blonds inside and outside beauty. From the first time she laid her eyes on her, she knew she had lost the battle. Hell, she didn’t even want to fight it in the first place._ \- Then, one night, I promised myself: “If you ever find love – you know, the love you see on the movies. The kind of love with cheesy nicknames, hand holding and chocolate kisses - you can never let it go, even if things get tough, don’t ever let anything ruin that”. – _Carina took one of Maya’s trembling hands and laced their fingers together. She wanted to reassure the smaller girl by stroking her thumb on the back of her hand._ \- God, I’m really bad at this whole feelings thing. – _She laughed as Carina wiped one of the tears that was running through her left cheek. Maya felt her skin burn with the simple touch of Carina’s hand._ \- I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you when you were only trying to help and I’m sorry for not letting you do that. – _Carina stared at her for a couple more seconds. She made sure Maya was done talking before standing up and pushing backwards the chair Maya was on. Just enough to stand between Maya and her desk, sitting on the edge of it._

  * Amore, look at me - _She caressed the blood girl’s face and lift her chin up so she could drown once more into those deep see blue eyes_ – Maybe it’s not the best moment to say this, and especially since you Americans feel love in a really different way than Italians – _Maya chuckled at her joke. It was something they had discussed on their second date, while they were staring at the shiny Seattle sky from the hood of her car._ \- I love you. - _A new sensation was starting to fill Maya’s heart. It wasn’t the usual aching she was getting used to but rather a comforting warmness inside, like fireworks._ \- But you know that we can’t keep doing this. I know you were pissed, and you had every right to be. But that doesn’t mean you can yell when you can’t keep your feelings captive anymore. I’ll be there by your side, every step of the way, if you let me. 



_Carina brought Maya’s face closer and stopped when they were just a few inches apart, breathing against her lips and she felt shivers running down her spine. Maya smiled before closing the gap between them. She could swear she had never felt something so soft as Carina’s lips. They tasted like barriers because of the lipstick she had put on that morning. Maya just rested her hands on Carina’s hips and let the brunette seat the pace of the kiss. When the need for air pulled them apart, she closed her eyes and rested her forehead on Carina’s before she decided to speak._

  * I don’t know how life’s gonna go. But what I know is that I would never break a promise. Specially not the ones that you’re involved.




End file.
